Sir Birdington 3: Bizarre histories

 This isn't when Sir Birdington was alive: It was many years ago anyway.

UNDER RULE

The dinosaurs were reigning dominantly, and a curious dinosaur, Archaeopteryx, was taking to the skies. The first one, descended from Velociraptor, was called Alani. Alani is the ancestor of every single Bird alive today. His dinosaur species would die off a few million years later, but they'd evolve into other bird-like dinosaurs, similar to him. He could glide, and found safety in tiny openings that opened into spacious caverns. Very soon everybody copied him, but they all found safety in ones with big space and tiny openings, so pterosaurs couldn't get them. Alani was the chief of the archaeopteryx in a small area in the middle of the pacific, full of tall and wide enough cliffs where no pterosaurs stayed. Other Archaeopteryx later found this, too, and it became a breeding and nesting area. Many Millenia later, 90 MYA, actually, a volcano erupted in central North America. It caused others to erupt, and soon lava land replaced wonderland. But it was around 70 MYA (million years ago) problems actually occurred more. It was known as, "the beginning of the end of their reign", and many death traps were created globally. 66 MYA, an asteroid hit the Gulf of Mexico, ending the reign of the dinosaurs. But Avian dinosaurs, birds, were still alive. So were reptiles, and amphibians and small mammals. It was very small creatures that survived.

BIRD DOMINATION

The birds dominated because 63 million years ago, the Terror Bird was born. It was 2-3 metres high, and stalked the plains of South America. There were mammal predators and reptilian predators, and Terror Birds were first your average predator. Later many became extinct though, and around 25 MYA they became vicious predators. They were one of the only meat eating Birds, and everywhere else on the globe there were others. Hardly any predators lived in South America, but that would change quickly. Around 2.5 MYA, North and South America connected to each other. Sabre Tooth tigers moved from North America to South America. They first hunted ground bird relatives, but later as they went extinct they changed their prey to Terror Birds. Then they went extinct and later Sabre Tooths themselves went extinct. 

EUROPE

Many Birds lived in Europe. With Terror Birds gaining domain at South America, reptiles did here. The very first leader of Reptile Kind, Noor Kiir, was a very kind and pleasant fellow, living around 32 MYA. He made fair policies, starting with the Reptile Carta, and life was wonderful. Many kind leaders followed, respecting both reptiles and birds and other animals living in Europe, as well as making fair and sensible rules. The last well known kind leader was Imran Wert. He stated that life is short, and we should enjoy while time flies, being well known as the first ever proverb. Around 1 MYA, the leader, Bert Mick, thought birds were stupid and forced his guards to shave every Birds feathers. He then burnt them, and made it into a picture of a crocodile with a crown. He was the very first dictator, and anyone who disrespected him was executed and made banquets often featuring a cooked dead bird as the main. All the leaders after him were ruthless, but the most ruthless would've probably been him.

WARS 

The very first known war was around 2 years after Bert Mick was in charge. The rebel leader, Tim Cross, thought of the crocodile idiotic and painted pictures of him with his butt sticking out. This agitated Bert Mick so much he ordered his guards to shoot them with bows. Tim Cross was still alive, but it was technically impossible to beat so many reptiles. The war continued after Bert Mick died, some 52 years later, but now the leader was Tim's son, Marty Cross, fighting over with Ronald James. The war continued with around 1000 other leaders, known as, "The Great Rebellion". The Birds failed after 124,000 years of nonstop fighting, even though they defeated around 712 of the leaders. An estimated 572,000 other wars happened, but in all the wars they lost. There was no way of beating the ERS (European Reptilian Society). Birds always went to war with reptiles, even though the truth was birds came from reptiles.

NEWSPAPERS

The first newspaper from birds was called Bird News. It was very simple and easy to understand, and was established at 2,937,540 BC. It reported stuff like this:

Bird News, your local Newspaper, is warning another war with the reptiles is coming. Be prepared!

The Reptiles didn't care about Bird News. They had their own newspaper called The Reptilian Times, which was easy to understand like Bird News. It was established 1 year earlier than Bird News. It was like this usually:

Aye, The Reptilian Times is warning you that a tornado is coming! Be Prepared! 

However, at 576 AD, the Bird News was replaced with The News Chronicles. It was more popular and had more info. It reported stuff like this:

Sunny weather is coming! We recommend you bask in the sunshine while it lasts or perhaps go to the beach, for in an expected 2 weeks Storm Bermuda is coming! Heavy rains will come when it hits! Once again, we are not wanting a heatwave like last year.

The reptiles copied the birds and made a newspaper called The Reptile Chronicles. It was made 2 years later and was translated in Reptilini so no Birds could read properly. It reported stuff like this:

Meis curks jina yoip likamui irabata zamigutu guptini narniop las losis terk jimubulu uruwaya jiopk karjen tyurjeniopiklads servutu bututu el croissen ta minut argententi burk reman'ejki zabilj. Torquini limitu irtuchjki walabalazkio omunikolpertaqchkiomzasd torzen! Porchenti ramalz.  

THE AMPHIBIANS

The amphibians were under the reptiles, like the birds, but many, many, many millions of years ago they had been rulers. It was around 462 million years ago, when animals came onto land, in a time period known as The Devonian. In the Carboniferous period some 315 million years ago, they also ruled, but they looked more amphibious than their earlier arachnid ancestors. It was only around 300 MYA that the ancient amphibians vanished. The world had turned into a hotter place, with pools vanishing. This era, the Permian, was when reptiles and mammalian reptiles ruled.

MAMMAL DOMINANCY 

When the Permian era began 299 MYA, reptiles and future mammals that still laid eggs ruled. They were battling it out, to see who fit more in a dry, desert like place. Mammals were mainly hunting reptiles, which made them powerful, but 252 MYA when the biggest mass extinction happened many of the big mammals died. The mammals left, like the plant eating lystrosaurus, were thinking they were dominant, and due to their clumsiness, they became extinct. The reptiles surviving became the dinosaurs. After the dinosaurs came at around 231 MYA, mammals became tiny. After 66 MYA when the dinosaurs came extinct, mammals grew powerful, and many were either eating reptiles or dying to them. The mammals went worldwide, and outmanoeuvred reptiles and birds, leading to humans.

BEFORE SIR BIRDINGTON 

The leader of the Bird Army before Sir Bird was Nicholas Wensleydale. He was born at 1699. He made the Bird Army at 1732. He learned about science and didn't care of reptiles teasing him because he knew he'd be doing this for good. He made the 5th successful Bird Army in history. He went very far away to build his army, all the way in a small island surrounded by jagged cliffs in the middle of the pacific. Birds went to him, and soon he had a big army. He tried battling the reptiles overseas, but they blasted cannons at the bottom of the ship, causing it to rapidly sink. Sir Nicholas was the only bird to survive. The reptiles thought the birds perished, and Sir Nicholas was worried they would beat him again. He spent the rest of his life in the island surrounded by jagged cliffs, Prick. He gave up very quickly, and nobody bothered to make the Bird Army. He died at 1782, in Prick. He had no funeral.

THE BIRD PALACE

The Bird Palace was made at 1831 but destroyed by the mammals at 1883. It was then rebuilt at 1952 but then destroyed again by the mammals at 1963. It was rebuilt again at 1984 but then destroyed again by the mammals at 1997. It was rebuilt once again for the last time at 2007. The bird palace was originally meant for Sir Bird, but since it was destroyed 3 times it was for Sir Bird's great, great, great, great grandkid. Sir Bird lived there, but since his grandkid couldn't really stay when it was destroyed he lived at Harpin palace, where he could stay if the palace had problems. When the reptiles had vanished from Europe, Europe was known as The Bird Kingdom. When the mammals raided it was known as Walthamstow North Central as they had ran out of ideas. The mayors were still alive, and so were the reporters of the News Chronicles, but they had fled to South America during everything to make sure it was safe. Bird's father, Commander Jameson, was the head of The Rebellion for Birdkind (TRB) and defeated the leader at 1733, but lost to a deadly crowd of reptiles, making him less popular than Nicholas Wensleydale. The TRB was then bought by Sir Nicholas for an astonishing amount of money, and he knew Commander Jameson would want the money. He found gold the next year, and became richer than Jameson. The Bird Palace is luxuriously comfy, and having a continent free of annoying rulers, Europe became a haven for birds, amphibians and fish. Birds now lived as if they were in heaven, in Europe and South America. Movies were even made, the most populous being Sir Birdington and Birdkind's legacies. 

THE MAYORS OF BIRDKIND

The mayors weren't really important until the early 1700's, when bigger wars started happening. The first mayor was Bobby Marten (1705-1719), the second Francis Leopold (1719-1728), the third Sebastian Marad (1728-1735), the fourth Valentino Pork (1735-1749), the fifth Madame Ginn (1749-1768), the sixth Sam Custard (1768-1782), the seventh Alex Robinson (1782-1799), the eighth Samuel Trojan (1799-1807), the ninth Tariq Kumar (1807-1821), the tenth Marge Tui (1821-1832), the eleventh Harry Benson (1832-1849), the twelfth Jackson Potts (1849-1864) , the thirteenth Odin Garros (1864-1882), the fourteenth Zinc Tral (1882-1898), the fifteenth Benjamin Stevenson (1898-1931), the sixteenth Aman Sharma (1931-1948), the seventeenth Toby Wills (1948-1967), the eighteenth Mark Beverley (1967-1984), the nineteenth Oliver Pan (1984-2000), the twentieth Jasper Mint (2000-2024) and the current one Caspar Little (2024-Present). There have been 21 mayors in 325+ years, and many have shown their dedications to helping Birdkind. There will be many future mayors too, and they'll help Birdkind like every other one did. The ones before all of these mayors listed here were technically classified as The stupid deciders and Freedom Fighters were known as Birdkind Heroes.

WHAT IT IS ABOUT

This is the very last of the Sir Birdington series. It shows how birds managed to adapt in a world full of rulers, and how they defeated them and what birds did with their mayors and palace and wars and amphibians and mammals and helpful people before Sir Bird. It mainly shows that the world is never stable, even if you try to make it stable.